Choosing a place

How to choose senior living without rushing: 5 practical tips

Updated October 15, 2026 · Reviewed against official sources

Choosing a care home for Mom or Dad is one of the most important decisions a family makes. It often comes after a fall or a hospital stay, with little time and a lot of mixed feelings. The good news is that there are many places with dedicated staff, and a few steps help you find the one that best fits your loved one.

Tip 1: take time to compare, even if you're in a hurry

When the hospital announces the discharge, it's normal to accept the first place with an open bed. There's nothing wrong with that: sometimes it's the most practical choice for a few days or weeks, and it doesn't mean you have to stay there forever.

What helps:

• If the discharge is soon, ask to talk with the social worker or the discharge planner, and ask for the list of options. See our guide to hospital discharge and our guide on how to work with the hospital social worker.
• Compare at least two or three places. With our comparison tool, you can see the options side by side.
• If you accepted a place in a rush, you can keep looking calmly while your loved one recovers. For last-minute situations, see our urgent help page.

Tip 2: look at the day-to-day care, not just the building

A pretty lobby and a nice dining room are pleasant, but what your loved one will experience most is how the staff treat them every day: how they help them get up, eat and bathe.

What helps:

• Visit at different times: at mealtime and in the afternoon, for example. Many places are glad to welcome you for a second visit.
• Watch the residents and the staff: Do they greet each other by name? Are there activities? How does the staff respond when someone asks for help?
• Ask how many residents each certified nursing assistant (CNA) cares for on the day shift and on the night shift, and how long the team has been working there. A stable team usually knows each resident well.
• Bring our visit checklist, printed or on your phone.

Tip 3: read the inspections in context

Nursing homes certified by Medicare or Medicaid get regular inspections, and the results are public. It's useful information that many families don't know about.

What helps:

• Look up the place on Medicare Care Compare. You'll see an overall rating of 1 to 5 stars and separate ratings for health inspections, staffing and quality measures. We explain how to read them in this guide.
• The stars are a starting point. An inspection report is a snapshot of one moment: if you see something that catches your attention, ask the place what has changed since then. Their answer also tells you a lot.
• Assisted living communities don't appear on Care Compare because each state regulates them. The state licensing agency usually publishes their reports.
• The long-term care ombudsman program in your area can guide you on how to choose and what to ask. Its service is free.

Tip 4: talk about long-term payment from the start

Many families pay for the first few months with savings. It's a good idea to think now about what will happen when that money runs out. It also helps to know that Medicare doesn't pay for long-term custodial care: it only covers limited periods of skilled care after a hospital stay.

What helps:

• Ask whether the place accepts Medicaid and whether a resident who starts out paying privately can stay after switching to Medicaid. Get the answer in writing.
• Ask for the complete price list: the base rate, levels of care, charges for medications, incontinence supplies, laundry, and how yearly increases are handled.
• Read our guides on what Medicare covers, Medicaid and how much senior living costs. If your loved one is a veteran, also look into Aid and Attendance.

Tip 5: read the contract carefully and think about the family

The admission contract can be long and may be available only in English. Also, the best place is one where your loved one can communicate and where the family can visit often.

What helps:

• Ask for the contract before move-in day and read it ahead of time, with help if you need it. Points to read carefully: how and when the stay can be ended, the advance notice, and how deposits are returned.
• About a family member's signature: in nursing homes certified by Medicare or Medicaid, federal law doesn't allow the facility to request or require a third party to personally guarantee payment as a condition of admission. What it can ask is that the person who manages the resident's money use it to pay for the resident's care. If the contract says responsible party, ask what it means in that document. If you have doubts, talk with a lawyer or with the ombudsman.
• Have the legal documents in order, such as the power of attorney. See this guide.
• Ask whether there are staff members who speak Spanish, and on which shifts. See how to find senior living with Spanish-speaking staff and how to choose a care facility that respects your culture.
• Think about distance: a place close to the children, the grandchildren and the church makes visits easier, and frequent visits let you get to know the team and take part in the care plan. See how to prepare for the care plan meeting.

If someone is helping you search

Many placement advisors offer their help at no cost to the family because the facility pays them. It's a common model and can save you time; we explain how it works and how to make the most of it in this post about senior living advisors.

To get started, use our search tool or see senior living near you. And if you want to go over all the steps, read the full guide, how to choose senior living.

💬Frequently asked questions

How many places should I visit?

Two or three is usually enough to compare. If you're short on time, even a phone call and a short visit to each one will give you a good idea.

Can I move my loved one to another place if they don't adjust?

Yes. Check the contract for the advance notice you need to give, and talk with the team first, because the first few days are often a time of adjustment. Our post on preparing a loved one with dementia for a move has ideas that work for anyone.

What do I do with the guilt?

Feeling it is very common. We recommend our post on the guilt of moving Mom into a care home.

Sources

• Medicare.gov, Care Compare: https://www.medicare.gov/care-compare/ (accessed October 15, 2026)
• CMS, Five-Star Quality Rating System: https://www.cms.gov/Medicare/Provider-Enrollment-and-Certification/CertificationandComplianc/FSQRS (accessed October 15, 2026)
• Medicare.gov, skilled nursing facility care coverage: https://www.medicare.gov/coverage/skilled-nursing-facility-care (accessed October 15, 2026)
• eCFR, 42 CFR 483.15 (admission, transfer and discharge): https://www.ecfr.gov/current/title-42/chapter-IV/subchapter-G/part-483/subpart-B/section-483.15 (accessed October 15, 2026)
• ACL, Long-Term Care Ombudsman Program: https://acl.gov/programs/Protecting-Rights-and-Preventing-Abuse/Long-term-Care-Ombudsman-Program (accessed October 15, 2026)

This is general information, not medical, legal or financial advice. Rules vary by state and by year: confirm with the official agency that applies to you.

👉Keep reading

Choosing a place for care

How to choose a nursing home: assess the need, check the license, star ratings and inspections, visit, what to ask and how to read the contract.

How to read star ratings

What Care Compare star ratings measure for a nursing home: inspections, staffing, and quality. What the abuse icon and the SFF program mean.

Free senior placement services: how they work and how to use them

Many senior placement advisors don't charge families because the facility pays them. How that model works and what to ask to get the most out of it.

A care home that respects Latino culture: food, Mass, telenovelas

What to ask to find out whether a care home will honor your Latino loved one's food, faith, language, and customs, and what the law says.