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Long-distance caregiving: parents in another state or country

Updated October 15, 2026 · Reviewed against official sources

You can give good care from far away if you get organized: build a network of people close to your parents, get permission to talk with their doctors, put the documents in order, and use local services like the Eldercare Locator (1-800-677-1116). If your parents live in another country, remember that Medicare generally doesn't cover care outside the U.S.

Many Latino families are spread out: a son in Houston, a daughter in Chicago, the parents in Los Angeles or back in their hometown. When Mom starts to need help, whoever lives far away often feels guilt for not being there, for not doing enough or for not having more time with her. The National Institute on Aging (NIA) recognizes that this guilt is very common among long-distance caregivers. It doesn't mean you're failing. It means you care.

Distance changes how you care, not how much you can help. Here are concrete ways to do it.

1. Get a clear picture of their health

The first step is knowing what's going on: diagnoses, medicines, doctors and appointments. Many parents don't want to tell you everything so they "won't be a bother." Talk with them respectfully, and explain that you want to help, not take away their control.

For doctors to be able to talk with you when you're not there, you'll usually need written permission from your dad or your mom (many doctor's offices call it a "HIPAA authorization"). Ask the doctor's office for the authorization form, and leave a signed one at every place where your parent gets care. If your loved one is in the hospital, ask to talk by phone with the hospital social worker: the social worker coordinates the hospital discharge and can include you in the conversations.

2. Build a local network

From far away, other people are your eyes. With your parents' permission, ask a neighbor, someone from church, a cousin or a trusted friend to visit them or to call you if they notice any change. Make a list with:

  • names and phone numbers of neighbors, nearby relatives and friends;
  • doctors, pharmacy and health insurance;
  • the person who has a key to the house.

Keep the list in a shared document that the whole family can see and update.

3. Divide the tasks among siblings

The NIA describes many tasks that can be done from a distance: finding and coordinating home care, researching care facilities, ordering medical equipment, paying bills and handling insurance. Whoever lives nearby usually carries the day-to-day load; whoever lives far away can take charge of the paperwork, the phone calls and part of the money. A shared calendar on your phone helps make sure no one misses an appointment.

If this topic causes tension in your family, read how to talk with your siblings about caregiving.

4. Put the documents in order

Before an emergency happens, it's a good idea for your parents to decide who will represent them if they can't make decisions for themselves: a power of attorney for money matters and an advance directive for medical decisions. Keep copies, and know where the originals are. Read our guide to power of attorney and advance directives.

5. Look for help in your parents' city

You don't have to know the resources in another state. The Eldercare Locator (1-800-677-1116 or eldercare.acl.gov) connects you with the Area Agency on Aging in the county where your parents live. That agency can guide you on home-delivered meals, transportation, home care and support for caregivers. The line is open Monday through Friday, 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Eastern time; if you need Spanish, ask for it when you call. Programs for family caregivers can also help you, even if you live far away: see help for family caregivers. See also our post on free programs for seniors.

In our directory, you can search for home health agencies, adult day centers or senior living in your parents' city.

6. If your loved one lives in a care facility

Many families care from far away for a dad or mom who already lives in assisted living or a care home. Some ideas for staying present:

  • Ask them to list you as a contact, and agree with the charge nurse or the social worker on how and when they'll let you know about changes.
  • Ask whether you can join the care plan meeting by phone or video call.
  • Schedule video calls at a time when your loved one is well rested, and ask whether the staff can help them connect.
  • Send photos, letters or music for their room. It also helps the staff to know who each grandchild in the photo is.

7. Make the most of your visits

When you travel, don't spend it all on paperwork. Spend time with them and, discreetly, look around:

  • Is there food in the refrigerator? Expired food?
  • Are the bills paid? Is there unopened mail?
  • Is the house messier or dirtier than before?
  • Are they taking their medicines correctly?
  • Have they lost weight, or do they have bruises?

These clues help you know whether they need more support. Go over the signs that an older adult can no longer live alone. A visit is also a chance to give a few days of rest to the brother or sister who does the caregiving every day.

If your parents live in another country

Caring across a border adds challenges:

  • Medicare. If your dad or your mom has Medicare, know that Original Medicare generally doesn't pay for care outside the U.S., except in very limited situations. Medicare Advantage plans usually don't cover it either, though some offer an emergency benefit abroad. Many Medigap policies include coverage for emergencies during travel, with limits. Check the coverage before they travel.
  • Legal documents. A power of attorney signed in the U.S. may not be valid in another country, and the other way around. Talk with a lawyer in the country where your parents live.
  • A trusted network. Find a relative or neighbor who can go with them to the doctor and let you know about any change. Agree on calls or video calls at set times.
  • Bringing them to the U.S. This is a decision with immigration, health insurance and money consequences. Read our guide to immigration status and benefits, and talk with an immigration lawyer at a nonprofit organization before you decide.

When to act right away

If you get a call that your loved one is disoriented, has fallen and can't get up, or has chest pain or trouble breathing, ask whoever is with them to call 911 (or the emergency number in that country). For guidance on emergencies, see our urgent help page.

Frequently asked questions

Can I take time off work to care for my parents in another state?

It depends on your employer and your state. The federal Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) gives workers who meet certain requirements up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave in a 12-month period to care for a parent with a serious health condition (it doesn't include in-laws). Ask your human resources department.

How do I choose a care facility if I can't visit it in person?

Check the official data in our directory, compare your options, and ask a trusted relative to make the visit with our checklist. Many facilities will also do a video call to show you around and talk with you.

Caring from far away is still caring. With organization and a good network, your parents can have people by their side even if you can't be there every day.

Sources

  • National Institute on Aging, Getting Started With Caregiving: https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/caregiving/getting-started-caregiving (accessed October 15, 2026)
  • National Institute on Aging, What Is Long-Distance Caregiving?: https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/long-distance-caregiving/what-long-distance-caregiving (accessed October 15, 2026)
  • National Institute on Aging, Long-Distance Caregiving: How Can I Help if I'm Far Away?: https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/long-distance-caregiving/long-distance-caregiving-how-can-i-help-if-im-far-away (accessed October 15, 2026)
  • Eldercare Locator (ACL): https://eldercare.acl.gov/ (accessed October 15, 2026)
  • ACL, "Help with Housing or Services" (Eldercare Locator hours): https://acl.gov/HousingandServices/FindHelp (accessed October 15, 2026)
  • U.S. Department of Labor, Family and Medical Leave Act: https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/fmla (accessed October 15, 2026)
  • Medicare.gov, Travel outside the U.S.: https://www.medicare.gov/coverage/travel-outside-the-u.s. (accessed October 15, 2026)

This is general information, not medical, legal or financial advice. Rules vary by state and by year: confirm with the official agency that applies to you.

Keep reading

How to talk to your siblings about caring for Mom or Dad

How to hold a family meeting, divide tasks and costs based on what each sibling can give, and stay united while you care for Mom or Dad.

Power of attorney and directives

What a power of attorney, health care proxy, advance directive, and guardianship are in the U.S., when to prepare them, and forms in Spanish.

Free senior programs: meals, transportation and senior centers

Home-delivered meals, community meal sites, transportation and caregiver support: how to find free or low-cost programs for older adults.

Signs an elderly parent can no longer live alone

Food going bad, unpaid bills, bruises with no explanation: ten signs that your mom or dad needs more help at home, and what to do about it.

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